Now my geek/gamer buds tell me this was yet another movie developed from a popular video game (which I, of course, have never heard of). Nevertheless, I was signed up to see it for the simple “tar power”of the film – Jake Gyllenhaal’s body. I have enjoyed his acting in many films for sure, but the previews for this particular film seemed to promise a fresh new perspective of Jake in leather and yielding knives . . . my kind of cinema.
The film begins with some blah-blah story about a time period, people, myths and legends. Then we are thrust into nonstop action. Sadly, a lot of this nonstop action seems to be borrowed from another Disney film – Aladdin, which was frankly, better written. Don’t get me wrong, if action is your thing, this film delivers tirelessly.
The chic in the film (Gemma Arterton) is mad hot with nice lips – the strong, brave, feminist type. Geeks seem to love these female heroines, am I wrong? The guy, in comparison, is brawny and doofy, with a hot bod. It crossed my mind that there is no way a chic like that would be attracted to a dude that is all muscle and no plan. Magically, we get our subplot love story and after a lot of aggression and annoyance with one another (read usual Hollywood love formula) they fall in love, kiss once and never get naked.
There is more to the film but it’s all predictable and Jake’s shirt comes off barely once. He’s half shaven-down hairy which really doesn’t look natural for the time and setting. Jake’s muscles are bulging throughout the film with the help of leather straps about his arms that, at times, makes me think he’s about to shoot up. In the end, if this truly was a great video game, they should have let another company produce it and make it darker and sexier. Perhaps the dude who remade the Batman flicks could take a stab at it and give us some T&A at least.