Back in Black

For the last month or so, I’ve been more or less a ghost. Nobody has seen me, and yet they’ve all heard my cries echoing through their halls at night. They were soft, blubbering sobs; filled with with laments of my inability to play Portal 2 co-op, regrets of an Xbox Live Gold membership lapsed into a Silver membership and a pride which would not allow me to renew, but most importantly overflowing with a sorrowful mourning for the untimely passing of my beloved PSN store.¬†I would think about the games that I could have, that should have been mine, and I would become incapacitated by the shackles of my dreadful sorrow.

Desperate to transfer games from an online storefront onto an internal storage solution, I purchased several small but forgettable titles on Steam, and I even went so far as to fix my broken Xbox. Still, no amount of money transferred from my debit card in exchange for virtual goods could fill the void left by the familiar beeps and restless periods of unresponsiveness as you attempt to purchase something on the PSN store. I fired off a scornful missive, and then retreated to my chambers until the light would once again shine upon me. Friends, that day has come, as today the PSN store makes it triumphant return to North American territories!

This wonderful news does not come without its own concerns, however. Naturally, we all set aside a weekly stipend to spend on PSN titles, and we continued to do so in the store’s absence. In fact, it’s so obvious that we all would have exhibited this exact behavior that I needn’t have even mentioned it, and so I apologize for wasting your time and mine. We all have plenty of money to spend on absolutely anything that so much as catches our eye as the floodgates open and Sony deploys several weeks worth of PSN releases in an accelerated period. What we do lack, however, is the time it takes to get properly acquainted with these titles. Now, I am aware that many of us have around two weeks of vacation time stored up at this point, and of course I am taking that into consideration because one would have to be a fool to pass up on this amazing vacation opportunity. Still, that will likely only take you through the week one releases, and then what will you do come week two?

That is why I’ve returned from the ashes like the mighty phoenix PSN store to break down the releases and help ensure that you don’t miss out on a real gem of a game because you spent all your time playing Learning With the PooYoos Volume One (released today). I haven’t even gotten to the Welcome Back program yet, where you will be forced to pick two games out of five and then to watch the other three get dragged out into the front lawn to be cut down as an example to those who would defy the emperor. There’s a lot going on here, and I understand that it can be a little overwhelming. It’s okay, I’m here for you.

Later today, I will post a buyers guide to Day One of Return of the King PSN Store, and together we can get through this.